I realize the subject matter in this post likely stems from my own shortcomings, which tend to be highlighted and stand out more visibly as flaws in others because of my own conscious or subconscious awareness of my own character deficits...
I'm hoping that maybe by voicing how greatly *empty apologies* annoy me will, if nothing else, at least help me to avoid offering them to others. I hate the feeling that I'm being patronized and I'm sure others do as well...
So, with that said:
I can not STAND it when people repeatedly apologize for things they knowingly and easily could have and should have handled differently in the first place...
you know, repeated apologies as a COP OUT for repeated willful bad behavior...
"I'm sorry I didn't get back with you sooner..."
"I apologize... I meant to respond already..."
"I'm sorry... I had a lot on my mind and forgot to get back with you..." (even though I knew it meant a lot to you and my not taking the 5 seconds out of my time to do so would probably cause you at least some degree of unnecessary angst)
"I'm sorry, I meant to get back with you about that..." only after you have to remind them you're waiting on a response, sometimes multiple times, and usually about something time sensitive.
No. 5-10 times later.
You are not sorry.
You behaved/ responded/ acted exactly how you wanted to.
Don't throw out a BS "I'm sorry" every time you're caught in bad or irresponsible behavior to try and gloss it over...
If you're that sorry about acting/ being/ behaving/ responding repeatedly a certain way... so much so that you apologize about how you treat others so often it's like "I'm sorry" was on sale at the Target dollar rack... CHANGE THE WAY YOU ACT. So, there'll be nothing about which you need to say you're sorry!
I'm hoping that maybe by voicing how greatly *empty apologies* annoy me will, if nothing else, at least help me to avoid offering them to others. I hate the feeling that I'm being patronized and I'm sure others do as well...
So, with that said:
I can not STAND it when people repeatedly apologize for things they knowingly and easily could have and should have handled differently in the first place...
you know, repeated apologies as a COP OUT for repeated willful bad behavior...
Hollow apologies offered to make the giver feel better about his or her mishandling of a situation, sometimes even used in a (usually failed) attempt to cover frank meanness or rudeness...
"I'm sorry I didn't get back with you sooner..."
"Oh, I'm so sorry for the delay"...
"I never meant to hurt you, I'm so sorry..." (as they proceed to do the same hurtful thing within the next 5 minutes...)
"I apologize... I meant to respond already..."
"I'm sorry... I had a lot on my mind and forgot to get back with you..." (even though I knew it meant a lot to you and my not taking the 5 seconds out of my time to do so would probably cause you at least some degree of unnecessary angst)
"I'm sorry, I meant to get back with you about that..." only after you have to remind them you're waiting on a response, sometimes multiple times, and usually about something time sensitive.
No. 5-10 times later.
You are not sorry.
Okay- I give ya a time or 2 for an honest mistake, lapse in judgement, neglectful (rather than intentional) forgetfulness &/or hurtfulness and the like... But, repeatedly letting "who cares how I treat other people, I'll just say I'm sorry later when I inevitably screw up, so I can do whatever I want right now with total disregard to someone else's time, energy, feelings, life" be your mantra... seriously!!!... "I'm so sorry baby!!!" Makes me wanna puke or scream or kick ya in the shins... maybe all 3 simultaneously...
If you were genuinely sorry about your behavior you wouldn't have behaved that way in the 1st place... and 2nd and 3rd and 4th and 5th place... (etc)...
You behaved/ responded/ acted exactly how you wanted to.
Don't throw out a BS "I'm sorry" every time you're caught in bad or irresponsible behavior to try and gloss it over...
If you're that sorry about acting/ being/ behaving/ responding repeatedly a certain way... so much so that you apologize about how you treat others so often it's like "I'm sorry" was on sale at the Target dollar rack... CHANGE THE WAY YOU ACT. So, there'll be nothing about which you need to say you're sorry!
And then, one day, when there really IS something for which you want forgiven for having done, your apology may actually mean something to the one you want to accept it.
